The death of individuality (and how to be your own individual)
People are looking and acting the same more than ever. Here's how you can avoid falling into that same trap.
Hi all - thanks for sticking around while I was on a month-long hiatus. Sometimes it’s important to put some things on hold to allocate extra focus to other aspects needing attention.
More great topics are underway, and I look forward to sharing those with you and continuing to build this community of people who reject the mainstream and choose to live life a little bit differently.
We recently entered the midway point of 2026, and things are looking… interesting (yet not interesting at all). Sounds contradictory, right? Maybe not so when we consider how mainstream media has shaped social trends more than ever over the last five years.
How We All Became the Same
Most of us know in 2026 that social media is the largest source of influence for social trends. And anyone who actively uses social media sees certain lifestyles, products, and aesthetics pushed by creators and their peers. I don’t claim to know exactly how social influence happens, but if I had to take a guess, it would be that scrolling through a large enough amount of short-form content across several influencers creates reinforcement that, in turn, creates a sense of FOMO.
In other words: I don’t believe it’s necessarily the duration in which the content is watched (since our attention span is cooked anyways). I believe it’s seeing these social trends seemingly adapted by “everyone” that compels us to take part in them. So essentially, peer influence on a much larger scale than we’ve ever experienced before.
Depending on what we’re interested in and who we hang around, there are many trends we may find ourselves swept up in. And, in the wake of this, everyone starts to look and act… the same. Personalities blend together. Faces look nearly identical. There is very little differentiation between one person and another. We know how it happened, but then the question becomes why. Here are my thoughts on this.
Why We All Became the Same
Though I’m someone who lives pretty contrary to the mainstream for various reasons, I watch/listen to many videos about pop culture and trends. It is interesting to spectate from afar; the more psychological and real-world aspects behind why people make the choices they do is quite fascinating. That being said, here is what I’ve concluded based on what I know and have observed.
People Are More Lonely Than Ever
Even with being more connected than any other time in human history, people are truly experiencing peak aloneness. It’s more difficult to make friends as an adult than ever and to find a romantic partner that’s on the same page. So “becoming the same” has become synonymous with finding community.
People Are More Insecure Than Ever
This is somewhat an extension of the point above with some other layers. There is the interpersonal aspect of conforming to trends because of the fear of being disliked or judged. And then there’s the intrapersonal aspect of personal insecurity. There is so much to say on this alone, but an important factor in regard to the sameness we’re seeing.
People Are Avoiding Boredom More Than Ever
When every momentary lull gets filled with some sort of stimulation instead, and that stimulation also influences what we buy, do, and look like, it’s no wonder that sameness is everywhere. It takes some level of boredom to develop a sense of individuality, so sameness is what to expect when we’re constantly scrolling through social trends and accept them as what we should be doing.
How You Can Become Your Own Individual
After years of social influence, it can seem challenging (and scary) to quit following trends pushed in the mainstream and be genuinely ourselves. Many of us don’t even know what it means to be ourselves anymore. If you’re exhausted from trying to keep up with seemingly impossible expectations and would rather live your own way without any guilt or shame, here are my easier-said-than-done suggestions based on how I live my own life.
Only Regard Specific Opinions
If you really want to be your own individual, you must first stop caring what everyone thinks. Not everyone has a well-intentioned opinion, and many criticisms that come from others are in response to their own insecurities. But rather than disregarding everyone’s opinions, select a few people in your life whose accomplishments make their perspectives hold merit. And provided your own actions and approaches are coming from a well-intentioned place, tune out the rest of the noise.
Become Inspired and Carry it Forward
To become your own individual, it’s also important that you immerse yourself in various surroundings to discover what’s most authentic to you. Traveling, listening to immersive music, finding hidden gems in your community, and browsing discovery engines such as Pinterest are great ways to uncover what you’re inspired by. Once you find your inspirations, carry those forward into your sense of presentation and/or style, whether that be how you decorate your house, how you go about your lifestyle, or how your approach your personal sense of style.
Surround Yourself with Supporters
You can tune out the critics and be in an individual all you want, but the most important ingredient is to have a supportive circle of people around you. People who appreciate your realness and individuality. People who only expect you to show up as you are. Keeping these people in your circle provides great encouragement for continuing to be your own individual.
Let’s Celebrate Individuality Again
As everything in this article indicates, sameness is in large supply but small demand, while individuality is in small supply but large demand. Dare to be different in a world that pushes sameness!
Now I want to open the floor to you. Why do you think everyone is striving to be the same? What do we have to lose by everyone continuing to replicate what everyone else is doing? Be sure to share with me what you think; I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this.
Thanks for this. I really liked the idea that says: If you really want to be your own individual, you must first stop caring what everyone thinks. Not everyone has a well-intentioned opinion, and many criticisms that come from others are in response to their own insecurities.
Too many people try to assert their individuality by proving they are more like everyone else than anyone else.